It is I SUPER NAMIC
by Laine -Formerly SageRain
Summary: This was a one shot thing... till I was told I was an MSTers wet dream. Feel free to do so, too bad you can't have it up here.Old-fic No Updates
1. Default Chapter

It Is *I* Super Namic!  
Sage Da Phreek  
  
DBZ isn't and shouldn't be mine because If it was Cell would sing the Meow Mix Song and Piccalo would be a cucumber. I do not intend to make writing DBZ fics a regular occurrence, but this was just *asking* for it.  
  
**********  
  
"... Will the Namic be able to defeat Freeza and his evil minions? Find out next time on, Dragon Ball Z!" The voice over ended the highly cut and badly dubbed Episode of DBZ. But instead of the tacky credits, a black screen appeared. Several seconds passed as the viewers wondered what the fark was going on. Then, as if by magic, or authress will the cute green Auzzie guy popped into existence along with Freeza, the blowfish dude and the Namic village.  
  
"You wenches, destroy those green freaks!" Proclaimed the very feminine arch villain as he pointed to his minions then to the helpless villagers.  
  
"Whatchu taking about, mate? Oi thinks that they look pretty good for cucumbers!"Said the hunky green guy.  
  
Freeza pointed again," DESTROY THEM!!"  
  
The three large over weight muscly namics that were protecting the village powered up. Actually they just grunted manly and flexed their cucumber arms. But that was a good enough time to attack as any, so the coral and kelp flavoured baddies through themselves at the other men.  
  
"ROAR!"  
  
"ARGHH!"  
  
"OI!"  
  
"REDWALLLLL!"  
  
"GRRRRRRR!"  
  
"DIE!"  
  
As it turns out, the three namic arn't really that strong, and are easily defeated. Duo and Quatre pop into this story, to take the places of Gohan and Crillin, because the latter was molesting the former. Something to do with a rubber chicken and an air pump I think, but that's another story.  
  
"Quillin we must help them! They are poor and defecwess!" cried Duo at the blond.  
  
"Why do I have to be the bald one?" Asked quatre, then as if realising that the authress could at any time feed him to Dorothy or Bulma, or both he responded with his lines,"No we mustn't give away our position!"  
  
Duo reminded him that they weren't in *that* position, Quatre responded with a not like that and they both went back into hammerspace.  
  
Mean while, somewhere else, I'm not sure where because I was watching Boston Public and didn't see the meat and potatoes of the DBZ ep., Piccalo felt his pickle senses tingling. It had nothing to do with the fact that at the moment he was having a wet dream about Harley and Skids, nothing at all. Anyway he awoke with a start and saw in his minds eye that other cucumbers were in trouble. So like greased lightning he slipped into his sea foam spandex body suit and appeared on the scene.  
  
"Don't worry fair citizens!" came the cry of the P-man," IT IS *I* SUPER NAMIC!"  
  
The real cute Aussie and the blow fish whipped around, stunned to see so much sea foam on one grown man. They were horrified! They let out a mutual gasp of shock.  
  
"*GASP*!"  
  
"Get him too, you fools!" Hissed Freeza annoyingly. And they tried. Hard. Really hard. Harder than you would have in the situation. But they failed. With a couple well placed baps on the heads, the two minions were down for the count.  
  
Piccalo posed like a pretty boy. " ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TRIUMPHED!" he yelled to no one inparticular.  
  
The two Gundam Bishonen popped back into the story to deliver their next lines,"Where the hell did he come from!" and "Gohan! You dirty dirty child! Such foul language! I must spank you!", then went back into Hammerspace. This was all done with the smoothness of Skinners forehead and no one noticed the remark, not even the dubbers.  
  
Piccalo posed once more, grunted twice, then flew off with the Aussie. Leaving Freeza shaking his fist and sans one boy toy.   
  
The namic village prospered.  
  
And there was hot Yoai sex for all.  
  
End 


	2. I want to be a Cucumber, too!

I Want To Be A Cucumber, Too  
Sage Da Phreek  
  
At the request (even if it was before I could get this up) I have done a squel to "It Is *I* SUPER NAMIC", with the next ep of DBZ. Again I missed most of the episode, but no matter! I caught the last bit. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!  
  
Inconsistancies? I see no inconsistancies! It's all crap I made up!  
  
***************  
  
"...Dudoria encounters Vegita and his new powers! Next time on Dragon Ball Z!" The voice over ended the episode, a silence and stillness held it's self in the air like an over ripe pear. Then the farmilliar charictars from the *real* show apeared, the blowfish dude and the endless scenery. It was all good, exept for the impending doom the narrator's last remark had placed on the baddie.  
  
He looked around like a jumpy chicken, expecting the sayian to aprear out from behind a rock. Seconds passed, the camera panned, zoomed and then shifted quite abruptly to the sky. The blowfish quaked in fear, then pulled himself up to full pudgy hight in a challanging stance.  
  
Vegita landed with the grace of one of the raining men from the song, "It's Raining Men". The thought dlickered through the coral man things head, but was quelched because that would be very gross.   
"Hello, Dudoria. Having fun I trust?" asked the sayian, voice dripping with sarcasum.  
  
"Oh yes Veggie head!" Retorted the skiked one, infanatly glad that the spike haired guy wasn't dressed in seafoam.  
  
The vegitable's eyes narrowed," What did you say fish breath?"  
  
"The time of my life, eggplant brain!" the blowfish said feeling much braver since he didn't see anything wrong with the guy.  
  
"You'll be sorry!"  
  
"Sure I will what are you going to do throw colslaw at me?"  
  
"I might!"  
  
"BRING IT ON!"  
  
Vegita grunted manily and powered up, sheading his regular garb for yellow bikini bottoms over a tight lime body suit. The bikini bore the legend ,"Real Namics Don't Use Cups". Mysteriously a plate of mixed veggies apeared in his hands.  
  
The blowfish screamed like a girl. And went into a super slow dodge sequence as Veggie-chan threw the first fist of celery and cried out," I WANT TO BE A CUCUMBER TOO!"  
  
It was kind of weird, the baddie dodged the celery, and the tomato, but was hit square in the head with the mushrooms. They would have knocked him out, but with the spikes on his pretty coral head just impailed the 'shrooms and the new and special vegitable throwing powers seemed useless against such a pinky aponant.  
  
But Vegita wan't the sort to give up. He reeeeeally wanted to be a cucumber, because if he was he could wear seafoam and whittle cucumbers into throwing knives. It would be grat fun. To top it all off, he could duct tape funky eye brow on and cosplay Alton Gundam at the next namic company picnic. So he throew the tray at the baddie and killed him.  
  
Suddenly out of nowhere, Super Namic and the recently converted cute Auzzie apeared on the scene.  
  
"Never fear, SUPER NAMIC is here!" cried Piccalo in his seafoam.  
  
The auzzie echoed him in his cute voice," And Asparigus Boy!"  
  
There was a breif silence.  
  
"... Uh, I already defeated him," coughed Veggie.  
  
"But your the bad guy!" cried Super Namic.  
  
"Yah, and your not on this planet!"  
  
"But... But... but..." and his head exploded.  
  
Both grown men looked at the green brains splattered all over the set. Then shrugged.  
  
"You want to go back to my place, mate?" asked the REALLY CUTE AUZZIE.  
  
Veggita agreed.  
  
They both ate a carrot stick.  
  
And there was hot yoai sex for all.  
  
END 


End file.
